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April 2nd 2011 Tim Candler

The newer modem is more like a
Christmas tree than the old modem. It has a great many tiny lights
that sparkle and suddenly blink in that "I'm very busy" way, while the
old modem sits in dark and silence.
And of course the newer modem is what
they call intuitive, which I will define as 'without instruction
booklet'. Perfectly possible, for those who need literature to go on
line and download documents enough to occupy the evenings. But
what is to be done if on one side of the bargain intuition fails to
achieve "connectivity".
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There is a telephone number to
ring. Smart Alec professionals out there who ask, "Have you switched
it on?' And strange how easy it is to convince oneself that a new
device arrived already broken.
If I had my life to live again, I'd try
to find employment writing those glossy and colorful pamphlets that
accompany intuitive products. Somewhere in red letters, next to one of
the pictures, I'd say, "Take a deep breath, smoke a cigarette and try to
calm down."

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